Mistakes were made……
Frick! (hands slapped onto forehead) Idiot! If it were kosher, and not in such poor taste, I would call my blog The Retarded Gardener. I don’t know anyone who makes as many mistakes in the garden as I do. Case in point: This truck load of soil that I just had delivered. I just ordered exactly what I didn’t want.It’s not like I don’t understand different types of soils, I do, in fact, I can become quite obsessed about it. One winter I found myself banging my head repeatedly against my laptop because it wouldn’t show me any close-up pictures of soil from the south of France. When we finally went there, I went around with a plastic yogurt spoon and a baggy and took samples of that lovely lean, gritty soil, which is now proudly displayed in an old glass jar, so that whenever I need a fix, I can just open it up and take a hit.
My garden has HEAVY clay soil, and because I wanted to plant Lavender and what not, I needed a load of lean, well draining stuff. So when I first realized what I had done (yeah, it took a while) I immediately put on sack cloth and ashes and beat my breasts and wailed, no wait, that was another time – so I immediately went into the house and talked to a whole lot of food for a long time, and then I took a nap.
I don’t know if it is because I strip-mined my brain back in the seventies in the name of enlightenment, or if it’s just because I’m so AC/DC or what is it? AttentionDeficit/High Def/ HGTV- something- but I should never ever Multi-task- never. So when I was putting in my order (and mind you, this was a Christmas present, and a LOOONG awaited load of dirt) I think I was dinkin’ around on my lap-top, looking at Facebook or something, and while the nice lady was chirpin’ away on the other end of the line, I was like “yeah, yeah, soybeans, yeah” and agreeing to an order of this rich dark (and weird smelling) pile-o-stuff.
So now, (oh shush, I’m almost done) I am going to have to clear out some other areas, and haul tons of brambles and crap to the back of the property and then put this rich stuff there and then maybe, just maybe, someday, if the gods allow, I will get another truckload of some divinely lean soil.
There- thanks for listening.